Dropped the Ball

I feel like I dropped the ball this year. I haven't stopped feeling gratitude the whole month. We have loved saying Thank You and enjoying little minutes here and there.

But tutoring is starting to really pick up---between my eight students getting ready for finals, all available minutes are taken up with tutoring. I love helping them and I am really grateful that my business is expanding, but it leaves little time for things other than taking care of my family.

I am grateful for the Friendly Hero. He is kind and loving. He loves to play with the Peaceful Hero. He loves spending time with friends and he loves to help me out. He is starting to play pretend, and he loves to be the pretend daddy and friends are the pretend mommy. He is a great kind. There are days when he acts older than three, and there are days that he reminds me that he's three and we try to laugh through the temper tantrums. (Some days it doesn't work, and we do all we can to make sure that there isn't everyone in the family crying at the same time....and that usually works.) But he is a sweet heart and extremely loving. I love him dearly and am grateful for him and his playful spirit.

I am grateful for the Peaceful Hero. He is funny. He is getting into playing a lot. He has a concentrated face and he will sit and play with something for a lot longer than the Friendly Hero. He gets obsessed with things. Like the past two days, he loves to watch the furnace when the fire comes on, and is constantly checking to see if "Fire All Gone" or if "Fire Back". I have a little pyro on my hands....he is definitely my son. He also likes to play with friends, but is still the Peaceful Hero, it takes a lot to upset him and then a lot to calm him down. He also loves trains. He knows which of our friends have trains, "Jane Train?" "Fry Train?" "Ry-Ry Train?" and wants to go play at those houses all the time. to play with the trains. I love him and love his tender spirit and his joy in playing. I also love that he doesn't smile near as much as his brother. Our family pictures--I will share them in a little bit, are sooo funny. He is just sitting there being chill, and his brother is making the funniest faces, thinking that he is smiling. I love the Peaceful Hero.

I am grateful for the Christmas Season. I love this time of year. It is fun to go to the parties and to send out packages and Christmas Cards. I was double checking addresses for several of my friends who I was sure had moved, and everyone told me that they loved my Christmas Card. It was really flattering, that everyone looks forward to my card. The first wave is on it's way, so look for it soon.

I am grateful for the Savior. I am grateful for His sacrifice and His grace. I feel closer to Him this year, and I know that He cares for us. He watches over us---no matter how dark it appears, He's there, comforting and helping, as long as we let Him in.

I am grateful for this pregnancy. I am really excited to have a little girl, or Girl-la as the Friendly Hero says. (We think he thinks he's getting a gorilla. which wouldn't be as cool for me.) I am excited and happy that she is healthy and growing--even if that means that I'm growing a lot too. She sits a lot lower than the boys, which is nice, since she doesn't play with my ribs. But she kicks and punches my bladder, so it's just pregnancy. There's ups and downs and it's never 100% comfortable, but it's worth the sacrifice in my book.

I am grateful for the balance and peace I am gaining from meditating daily. I feel better physically--I have more energy, more focus, less pain from a low sitting baby, and better sleep. I feel better emotionally--I freak out less (about once a week) and then it's gone from my system pretty quickly, and I am just happy and mellow---not intensely hyper like I tend to get--which I can still get hyper, but I don't have the extreme high followed by an extreme low. I just am happy at a higher level, and not as stressed. I feel better spiritually--I feel closer to Heavenly Father, to Jesus Christ and I can feel them working through me. I feel like I have a lot more charity for my children and for my husband and for my friends and neighbors. I see that they are trying their best and I can still love them, even if there is poop in the underwear not 5 minutes after someone uses the potty. (Was I pleased about it---no way, but I was calm about it because I could still feel love for the child.) I feel like I'm becoming more like them, and that brings me peace.

I am grateful for the scriptures and prayer. I get more out of it since I've been meditating and it's like I suddenly have these awesome tools that just got even better. Like it was a Swiss army knife that I suddenly found a power attachment for it. I am grateful for all the places we have to connect with Heavenly Father and  His Son, Jesus Christ.

I'm grateful for my extended family. I love all my cousin's blogs. I feel edified and close to my family that I get to see once a year, if I'm lucky. I am grateful for my family and how we can support one another. At times I feel like I'm the one who gets the most out of this extended relationship--I'm the one edified and I don't know if I get to help them as they have helped me.

I am grateful to be alive. Life is wonderful and awesome. Even if I disagree with politicians, policies and family members. I have peace, love and gratitude spilling out of me.

I am grateful for my new van. I love it. I really love it. I love driving it. I love sitting higher. I love climbing in and out of it. It's a lot easier than Lance, our Ford Taurus. I love my new car. I am really grateful for it. The boys love it too. Which makes it nice.